Finding Freedom

Dear friends,{this includes friends I know personally, in real life, along with those of you I get glimpses of while cruising through Facebook on my way back to Reality.}

I am “special.” You know, that politically correct term for people who are “different” and I don’t mean in an obvious way, you can see with your eyes. As a matter of fact, I blend in quite smoothly, with all of the “normal” people. (Left corner of mouth rises in prideful delight…“wait?” Eyebrows scrunch in confusion, as doubt gives way to reason; “Is that the left side of my mouth?” Hand raises in front of my face, “This is my left hand, right?”

Things are so confusing on a keyboard. Usually my brain distinguishes left from right based on prominence, but when I type, neither hand is dominant. This challenges the logic I use to identify my right hand which then points out my left by process of elimination. wow! That was a long, or I guess just a “normal,” rant for me. Half smirk completed as left corner of mouth reveals canine tooth.)

I am so easily distracted. It is impossible to focus when information is constantly being thrown at me from so many directions. Each and every piece of knowledge, idea, experience and feeling is like a seed that somehow takes root in my mind upon impact. I do not have the option of choosing which ones I would like to see develop. There is no order, organization or containment to these seeds. n.

My mind is overwhelmed. I wish I could just store the seeds in nicely labeled packets until it was the right season to plant them. But instead, they will continue to fall, against the will of my fertile mind. Taking root wherever their ovules land and branching out wildly in every direction.

I feel lost. I can no longer tell where a tree begins and a weed ends. They have become one in the same, as they close in on me, collectively. The darkness hides directionality  and I have lost my ability to move forward or backwards.

I am trapped. I feel incapable of escaping from this densely overgrown, dark forest. I know the light is still up there, but I can no longer see it. The forest has overtaken the heavens. Suddenly, a small opening appears, and a glimmer of light breaks through the chaos. It calls out to me, “fly.” I remember who I am, and realize why I feel so small and overtaken by this big forrest.

I am a bird. I am a free. I can stay or I can flee.

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